Music=Life

    Ever found a song that just is your life? That is you? It's not that the artist is particularly similar to you or can even understand your situation, but their song can. Music is much more than just music.


    Me in a song:

Taylor Swift's 'Place in this World'

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do
[Chorus:]
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world
Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine
Could you tell me what more do I need
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok
[Repeat Chorus]

    There are songs that make you laugh, cry, think, smile, and just feel. If I was to list all the songs that have affected me in some way or another, I would die before I finished. So here are just a few with my favorite lines from each:

3 Doors Down-'She Don't Want the World'--This song makes me feel. "She tried to show him love/While he would only ask for more/But it's ok, she don't want the world"

Fergie-'Personal'--"I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've gotta get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry"

Katy Perry-'Thinking of You'--Makes me smile. "You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter Like a heart candy with a surprise center"

Lady Antebellum-'I Run to You'--"When lies become the truth That's when I run to you This world keeps spinning faster To a new disaster So I run to you." Listened to this at least twice each night closing the Malt Shop with Chase my first winter there.

There are more and more. From years past and new ones everyday. The music is never-ending.

Epiphany

     Possibilities. Options. My life is just beginning and I can take it any way I want. I could move to Oahu, live on the beach and be a helicopter tour guide. I could stay close to home, settle in a green valley with fields full of beautiful horses. I could wake up to a high-rise view and write columns for a newspaper with thousands of readers. I could find someone to love forever. I could make PB&J's and send children off to the bus with quick kisses. I could live out my life with a dog for company. I could be the greatest aunt. The perfect friend. The loyal sister.
     I don't have to "find myself", I just need to build the person I want to be. Step by step, moment by moment. It's never-ending. Each path gives and takes as it smooths away the rough edges and forces me to hold on to whats really important; what has to survive. The process will not be easy, nor particularly fun at times, but it cannot be avoided. Who I am is shaped by not only my joys and interests, but by the sorrows, the grief, the bad days. They build Me. If I cannot find myself maybe I should stop looking and start living.