It seems that every person I bump into has an instant interest in my education. 'What are you majoring in?' 'Which university are you transferring to?' 'What are you doing at Snow still? Isn't that a two-year?'
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, yes.
Even the cashier at Kents'!
Cashier: So you done with finals?
Me: Yep. (because she is a total stranger and what does it harm letting her believe whatever? Easier than explaining my real situation)
Cashier: Aren't you headed home soon then? You might not want to buy all this food.
Me: (are you calling me a pig for buying junk food for my girls' night?) Oh, I live here.
Cashier: (much too enthusiastically) You do! Oh, well why don't I recognize you? What year did you graduate from Manti?
Me: (reluctantly) 2009.
Cashier: Ok...so I was a freshman when you were a senior...ok...Wait, and you're still at Snow?!
Me: Yep. But I took some time off to go work in Alaska.
Cashier: Oh, ok, I would die if I had been here that long!
Me: (give me my freaking groceries already!) Yep.
Yes I know, a 'normal', good human being would be graduated by now, not just from Snow but from a 'real' school with a 'real' degree. I KNOW.
But guess what? I'M NOT A NORMAL GOOD HUMAN BEING. At least not when it comes to school. Not that we've established that can we move on from making me feel guilty and inferior for not having my life in order according to your specifications? Thank you.
Ugh. I dislike school. I dislike it a lot.
So here I am trying to buckle down and just pick something I can tolerate so I can finish and get a degree so I won't be a complete and utter failure/disappointment to my family/disgrace to young adults everywhere/unproductive, good-for-nothing, waste of space.
Well what matters more than your grades? Nothing according to Universities you want to get into. So I decided that I will make a list of the classes I did the best in and pick a major from that.
My highest grade? An A in both Intro to GIS and Zumba.
Next? A- in Intro to Sociology, English Mechanics and Anthropology.
B+ in Drawing I, General Biology Lab, and Intro to Film.
B in English 2010, Courtship & Marriage, and Elementary Italian I
Then B- in Desktop Publishing, Modern Social Problems, and Elementary Italian II
And it goes down from there.
But what you don't see when you just look at that letter is all that's behind it. Like the A in GIS, the B+ in Bio, and both the Italian grades that would have been much lower if Ash hadn't been in my classes. Sociology, English, and Anthropology were incredibly easy classes. Intro to Film was quizzes on movies you watched in class, Courtship & Marriage worked out because you didn't have to be successful at it outside of class, Desktop Publishing was all follow the textbook step by step. I slipped by in Drawing because I was so bad at the beginning of the class and your grade was based on improvement. And if you showed up 80% of the time to Zumba you got an A.
None of that gives me much hope for my success in any of those fields.
So when people ask what I'm going into or what career I'm aiming for, my answer of 'I don't know' is not an avoidance of the question, not a way of peaking interest, it's the truth. I don't know what I want to do. And that makes it hard to mindlessly take classes just because I should be.
