Lyrical

    You didn't know I was a One Tree Hill fan? Well, if there is someone you can relate to, or more than one someone, it's easy to get lost in a TV show. And I can relate.

    All words are powerful, but there's just something about lyrics. Not only do they gain life from the writers, but the music itself, the voice behind the words, they breath more than life into those lines of words, they breath the soul of the writer and his emotions, his pain, joy, love. You don't just hear lyrics, you feel them.

    I felt like writing today but it's not my words that I want to share. Here are some lyrics, some of my favorites, that I feel more than hear. We'll go for Country this time:

~'Cause I love the gap between your teeth

And I love the riddles that you speak

And any snide remarks from my Father

About your tattoo

Will be ignored

'Cause my heart is yours

So don't you worry your pretty little mind,

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love work hard

The stakes are high

The water's rough

But this love is Ours~

Taylor Swift, Ours

~You make me wanna buy a rose

You make me wanna shine my shoes

Baby, you make me wanna dance better than I do

You make me wanna be a man

Who makes you laugh

Who makes you proud

Wanna be everything you need

You make me wanna make you love me

Girl I'm not poetry

I'm not the finest wine

But I'll toast to you and me

And I'll try to make it rhyme

I'll learn your favorite song

Stand in the yard with my guitar

And sing outside your window all night long

You make me wanna buy a ring

You make me wanna put you first

You make me wanna talk to God

Even when I'm not in church

You make me wanna be a man

Who makes you laugh

Who makes you proud

Wanna be everything you need

You make me wanna make you love me~

Andy Gibson, Wanna Make You Love Me

~I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger

I've never known the lovin' of a man

But it sure felt good when he was holding my hand

If I die young

Bury me inside

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

Maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing

Funny when you're dead how people start listening

Gather up your tears

Keep them in your pocket

Save them for a time

When you're really gonna need them

I've had just enough time~

The Band Perry, If I Die Young

~Whiskey kills the man you turned me into~

George Strait, Livin' For the Night

~Sunny days seem to hurt the most

Wear the pain like a heavy coat

I feel you everywhere I go

I see your smile, see your face

Still Can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young

Like a story that had just begun

But death tore the pages all away

God knows how I miss you

All the hell that I've been through

Just knowing no one could take your place

Sometimes I wonder

Who you'd be today

The only thing that gives me hope

Is I know

I'll see you again someday~

Kenny Chesney, Who You'd Be Today

~No one can make me cry

Make me laugh

Make me smile

Or drive me mad

Like she does

It's like the curse that is the cure

For better or worse one thing's for sure

It's real love

And I don't know what I'd do

If I lost you~

Kenny Chesney, I Lost It

~When I close my eyes

I'm somewhere with you~

Kenny Chesney, Somewhere With You

~I struggle sometimes to find the words

Always sure until I doubt

Walk a line until it blurs

Build walls too high to climb out

But I'm honest to a fault

That's just who I am

I'm better as a memory than as your man~

Kenny Chesney, Better As a Memory

~If I'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose

If I'm not that arrow to the heart of you

If you don't get drunk on my kiss

If you think you can do better than this

Then I guess we're done

Let's not drag this on

Consider me gone~

Reba, Consider Me Gone

~When this world gets crazy

And tries to break me

And I've had all that I can stand

I can close my eyes no matter where I am

And just be Still~

Tim McGraw, Still

~I've been a walking heartache

I've made a mess of me

The person that I've been lately

Ain't who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me

And watch as the storm blows through

And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

And for when I think I lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it's true

God gave me you~

Blake Shelton, God Gave Me You

~We got a fightin' side a mile wide but we pray for peace

'Cause it's mostly us that end up servin' overseas~

Josh Thomson, Way Out Here

~I've been caught sideways out here on the crossroads

Trying to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul

It's hard when the devil won't get off your back

It's like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack~

Tim McGraw, Let It Go

~I bet all I had on a thing called love

I guess in the end it wasn't enough

And it's hard to watch you leave right now

I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow,

Somehow

I'll move on baby just like you

When the desert floods and the grass turns blue

When a sailin' ship don't need her moon

It'll break my heart but I'll get through

Someday when I stop lovin' you~

Carrie Underwood, Someday When I Stop Loving You

~Skeletons in closets

Ghosts underneath the bed

They hide out in pictures

And words better left unsaid

They hang around like perfume

And haunt me like an ancient melody

When I'm not chasing demons

There's demons chasing me~

Kenny Chesney, Demons

~Red roadside wild flower if I'd only picked you 

Took you home set you on the counter 

Oh at least a time or two 

Maybe she'd thought it through...

I wouldn't be beating on the dash

Screaming out her name at the windshield

Tears soaking up my face

If I had loved her this much all along 

Maybe, maybe, yea maybe...

She wouldn't be gone~

Blake Shelton, She Wouldn't Be Gone

~I ain't no angel

I've still got a few more dances with the devil

I’m cleaning up my act little by little

I’m getting there

I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see

I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get

But I’m better than I used to be~

Tim McGraw, Better Than I Used To Be

~It's hard lovin' a man that's got a gypsy soul

I don't know how you do it, I'm not sure how you know

The perfect thing to say to save me from myself

You're the angel that believes in me like nobody else

And I thank God you do

'Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun

When I'm a firecracker coming undone

When I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy

No matter where my reckless soul takes me

Baby you save me~

Kenny Chesney, You Save Me

~Loving you was like throwing a lasso 

Around a tornado

I tried to hold on to you

Took a turn on a high trapeze 

Swinging over the deep

I thought I could show you

I've always been afraid of flying

But you can't blame a girl for trying~

The Band Perry, Lasso

~Hello world, hope you’re listening

Forgive me if I’m young

Or speaking out of turn

But there’s someone I’ve been missing

And I think that they could be

The better half of me

They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right

But I’m tired of justifying

So I say to you...

Come home, come home

Cause I’ve been waiting for you

For so long, so long

And right now there’s a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

To fight for you is all I’ve ever known

So come home~

Faith Hill, Come Home

~I can't forget, I'm drowning in these memories

It fills my soul with all the little things

And I can't cope, it's like a death inside the family

It's like she stole my way to breathe

So don't try to tell me I'll stop hurting

And don't try to tell me she ain't worth it

Cause you don't know her like I do

You'll never understand

You don't know what we've been through

That girl's my best friend

And there's no way you're gonna help me

She's the only one who can

No, you don't know how much I've got to lose

You don't know her like I do~

Brantley Gilbert, You Don't Know Her Like I Do

~When I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

When I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here~

Brad Paisley, When I Get Where I'm Going

           I absolutely hate it when somebody says "I hate country music" because you don't. You might not like some of the twang, or the drinking songs, or the steel guitar. But you do not hate every country song. I'm sorry but it's true. So fess up and be honest with yourself. Quit dissing country just because you don't have a spiritual connection with every single song. There are more out there than you know that speak right to you. Pick one of these songs, look it up, and just listen.

I Could So Be a Bartender

So, I make awesome drinks.

And it ain't bragging if it's true.

Sometimes when I get bored (and thirsty) at work, I make up drink combinations. Yummy ones :)

For example:
     ~Pink Mango Lemonade
     ~FrescaPibb Freeze
     ~Lime Ricky Freeze
     ~ Pineapple/Mango/Fresca Slush
     ~Black Raspberry Red Creme Coconut Slush
     ~Strawberry Daquries (okay so those weren't my original creation but it's creatively put together)

And I like to throw things together at home too. Like you can basically substitute sprite (or even better, Fresca) for alcohol in margaritas, daquries, etc. Yum! Like margarita mix with Fresca or margarita mix with grape soda! Oh yes :)

Or like this simple smoothie with lots of flavor:
            Blend
                ~1 orange
                ~1/2 lemon
                ~1 banana
                ~Some strawberries
                ~1/3 can of frozen lemonade concentrate
                ~a little milk
                ~just enough sugar

       Yep that stuff doesn't need to be alcoholic.
I like making drinks! Combining different flavors. What do you think? I think I could be a bartender :)

My Best Friend

   You know how I wrote 'My Little Sis'? Well here is another best friend I am going to have a really hard time living without.

You might notice that we also have the same eyes. Whoa...yep she is my sister too. My sister from my Mama's sister :) Kim

The reasons why I just might die without her? Well...

#1- We rock the summer. She is the ultimate riding buddy. We ride in the foothills, up New Canyon, down Left-hand Fork, through the farm, EVERYWHERE! And we take pictures :)

At the Farm...it was really cold...

New Canyon...

Rocky and Sundance playing LEGos

We go fishing at Community... We talk and talk and yell at the fish...  And occasionally reel one in...
                         

We have awesome adventures together.

And we make a lot of funny faces :P

Kim makes sure my summers are always awesome. Ashley's too.

#2- Kim knows me. We have spent a lot of time together and I have known her my entire life. We are starting to know each other pretty darn good :) 

Like That Summer we spent watching every scary movie we could get a hold of and now we have a system: if it's scary we sit real close together. If it's really scary we pull our feet up off the floor. If it's really scary and intense we link arms. If it's really really scary and really intense we link legs also. If it's downright terrifying we tangle up like a pretzel and rip each others' arms out of the socket and say eww a lot. 

She understands that a trip to the mall is just not complete without a stop at PretzelMaker.

She knows that there is no way that I could turn down an invitation to come over to watch 'Hairspray' and eat waffles with strawberries. She also knows that even though it's breakfast I won't be up til at least 8:30 so she waits to text me til then.

We refer to the summer that she lived with me as 'That Summer' and always know which summer we are talking about.

We never get tired of our signature musicals: Hairspray, Enchanted, Mama Mia, and Phantom of the Opera. We have watched them so much that we sing every song and even have pre-assigned parts. Like Kim is always Phantom, Ashley is Christine and I am Raul.

We have girls' nights including face masks, nail polish, chick flicks, and talking til 2 AM without realizing it.

We tell each other everything.

She knows how to de-stress me. For example: Kim picked me up in the truck, we drove out to the Res, taking pretty pictures along the way, blasting awesome music, and got there in time to see the sunset on the water. Perfect.

At the Res

#3- I know she loves me. Even though she knows me too well she still loves me. 

She even had her first baby on my birthday! (Oh ya, me and that kid are gonna be buds forever. Kirk is exactly 20 years younger than me and we go to the Zoo to celebrate our birthdays. I plan on being his favorite Aunt.)

BTW, I love you one million red Swedish fish, 12,000 Milka bars and a trillion gallons of chocolate ice-cream! :)

So you can tell how much she loves me, check this out:

Drowning! :)

I love you! I am gonna miss you tons, but thanks for talking me into for sure going. 

It kills me that I'm gonna miss baby #2's first couple months. But she will get to know me soon enough.

Here's our song! For reals, listen to the lyrics and it's me and Kim.

<3

P.S. My life would suck without you.

Goodbye Gutless Gurdi

         I sold my car today. For twice what I payed for it 4 years ago. Yipee!

        And then I almost cried.
     
        My sweet-awesome grandma car is gone forever :(
     
       Seriously I really am getting depressed about this! I loved my car and we had some awesome times. Like that time Ash and I took Gurdi up Manti canyon and through a stream. Or the time we had me, Sharee R, and Ash in the front seat and Mitch, Justin, and Kaden in the backseat on the last day of school and we blasted "School's Out ForEVER" and all the guys could hear was the same bass chord over and over. Or when me and Megan took the backroads home from pageant to miss out on the highway traffic and we were drifting so bad on the gravel we almost died. Or those mudding trips. Or all the times when I would sit on the trunk and Freckles would jump up next to me and nose under my arm. Or the time we ran out of gas on the way to school on the highway and Kendra happened to be right behind us so we weren't even late. Or that time we ran out of gas on the way home from the Derby and Brian came back with a gas can to save us. Or the time we ran out of gas pulling out of the Malt Shop. Or the time I ran out of gas 10 feet from the pump and had to get out and push. Or how Mitch had to be a contortionist to fit his tallness into the backseat. Or the time the muffler fell off as I pulled into work...and the subsequent months of roaring around town straight-piping it.

       Oh how I love you Gurdi! I hope your new home is a good one.

     

From Avril

   ~I just wanna scream and lose control
                 Throw my hands up and let it go
                        Forget about everything and runaway
                                   I just wanna fall and lose myself
                                        Forget about everything and runaway~

            ~I'm freaking out where am I now? You can't stop me now I will get by I will survive~

~I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?~

~Everything's changing when I turn around

out of my control

I'm a mobile.~

~Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl the one that gives it all away? Don't try to tell me what to do Don't try to tell me what to say You're better off that way~

                               

                       ~If I had my way I'd never get over you

                             I don't want to fall to pieces I just want to sit and stare at you

                I don't want to talk about it

   I don't want a conversation I just want to cry in front of you

                      Cause I'm in love with you~

~If I could say what I wanna say 

I'd say I wanna blow you away

What use is it to you what's on my mind

If it ain't coming out

I'm wishing my life away

On these things I'll never say~

~All my life I've been good but now

I'm thinking what the hell 

All I want is to mess around 

And I don't really care about 

If you love me 

If you hate me 

I just need to be a little crazy~

                      ~Try to tell me what I shouldn't do

                                    You should know by now that I won't listen to you

                                                 I'm gonna live my life

                                                                               I won't compromise

                                                                                                         'Cause I'll never know

                                           I can't watch the time go by

                                               You don't always have to do everything right

                                                         Stand up for yourself

                                                                    Put up a fight

                                         Freak out

                                                              Let it go~

                                                                        

~I'm standing on a bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here by now

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

No one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me

It's a damn cold night trying to figure out this life

Why is everything so confusing

Maybe I'm just out of my mind

It's a damn cold night trying to figure out this life

Won't you take my by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

but I

I'm with you~

Sometimes Avril Lavigne really knows her stuff.

My Little Sis

       My little sister is my best friend. My bestest friend ever! ;) I love her and I am really, really going to miss her this summer. We are both going to be working in Alaska! Woot woot! We are so excited! It's going to be awesome. I can't wait! Except...Alaska is huge. We are going to be in the same state...but I am going to be in Skagway and she will be in Healy, which are like seriously 600 miles apart! That is like from here to California :( And I am really, really going to miss her. This will be the most we have ever been apart. Well besides those 2 years before she was born, but I don't remember those anyways. I just about start crying when I think about it. And do you know what she says? "Well it's gonna happen sometime." Ouch. But you have to know Ashley. I mean I'm pretty sure she is gonna miss me, too. I think.

     Okay so who knows what she feels about me (she is like my dad). But here are some reasons why I am going to miss her:

1.  She is my other half. Seriously we are twins she was just born a couple years late. People always think we are twins too. They even think we are identicals! Crazy peeps! Well I can understand why they might think that...she graduated from high school the same time as me because she is super smart (she wasn't my best friend that month), we both have Mom's eyes, and well we pretty much do everything together. But we really don't look identical! And really we are very different. Like I am a cry-er (like, bad) and she is emotionally constipated (her eyeballs are master dam-builders, if she cries it terrifies me cuz I know it's really bad). And she wants to go to med school and is seriously considering joining the Army to help her get there, while I am...um...considering whichever career path takes the least number of years off my life and I would most definitely be sent home from basic training the first week...in a pine box. I am so not Army strong :) And well I love cheesy movies, her...not so much. You see? Basically she is the tough chick and I am the weeping willow. Oh, and I am taller.

2.  Who else has music taste as random as mine? We share a love of music. All kinds: Rap/hip-hop (mostly the funny ones), Folk like Kate Voegele and Secondhand Serenade, good old Christian Rock Skillet, Alternative, Metal (to a point), Pop, R&B, Italian Rockers Moda, basically we've got everything from The Pussycat Dolls to Flo Rida to Lifehouse to Breaking Benjamin to Broadway. The only one we don't share is Country...Ash is pretty darn picky when it comes to country, and me? I love it all. I am gonna miss how we blast music from my stereo when we clean our rooms, taking turns picking CDs and singing along on road trips. We even went to Uproar: Festival of Rock in 2010. I can not think of a single other person I know who would've gone with me to an outdoor concert that started at 3:00 in the afternoon with Airbourne and worked it's way through New Medicine, Hell Yeah,  Hail the Villain, Halestorm, Stone Sour, Avenged Sevenfold and finally Disturbed at about midnight. It was CRAZY! Oh my goodness! We had fun but we decided that if we were ever to go again it would have to be when we both have boyfriends to take with :)

That would be Brady from New Medicine kissing me...yep a hot rockstar kissed my cheek :)

3. We are movie marathon queens! Again, who else in the world could I have One Tree Hill marathons with? Or Supernatural? Or X-Men? Or Vampire Diaries? Or favorite Disney marathons? Or Harry Potter? Lord of the Rings? Reba? Cheesy Christmas Hallmarks? Yep. We do it all. Oh! Can't forget those 'Contains Hot Man' movie marathons :)

4. Who am I going to talk books with?! This is our normal system: Ashley reads a book. Ashley either likes or dislikes said book. If Ashley likes it she tells me to read it. If Ashley really likes it and wants to talk about it she tells me to read it now. I read the book. I like the book. We talk about the book. We hash out every important part of the book. Then, Ashley reads a book. And so on. We both have that old saying "Books are Friends!" ingrained in our heads, hearts, and guts. It's just another thing we share. I love it. And we basically like the same books. Well, I did go through the Twilight faze and she most definitely did not. So basically if the book is not overly cheesy, girly, or romantic you will find it on both our shelves.

5. We chill. We are totally comfortable together. We hang out in my room doing homework and listening to music. Homework Parties we call them :) We can talk and talk with those 'awkward silences' in between, but they aren't awkward. She is the first one I tell my novel ideas to. The one I ask the question: "is this stupid?" all the time, sometimes for encouragement and sometimes...well I know she is gonna tell it straight. She is the one who understands my broken Italian. She speaks my language. She is my 'no judge zone.' She is the one I tell my craziest dreams to. Even the broken ones, the ones that are embarrassing since they are so out of reach. She listens to my random philosophies about life, love and the lack of and then tells me I think too much but that she understands.

In Hawaii last Summer

See? She is my best friend. Too bad she's not an un-related-to-me guy, I would have found The One! :)

There are a few people I could do this with, write a post about all the reasons I love them and will miss them this summer, and I might get around to it (no promises). But there you have me and Ash.

       I love you Ash! And even though you don't like hugs, you know you are going to have to hug me when we say good bye right? And I'm hoping I am half the best friend to you that you are to me. And now I am going to go to sleep and stop bugging you with my tip-tapping keyboard. Good Night.

     

Damsel in Part-time Distress

Dilemma. It's a word that seems to define a lot of what is going on in the world and in my small corner of it. 


Dilemma noun

1.

a situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives.

2.

any difficult or perplexing situation or problem.

3.

Logic . a form of syllogism in which the major premise isformed of two or more hypothetical propositions and theminor premise is a disjunctive proposition, as “If A, then B; ifC then D. Either A or C. Therefore, either B or D.”          (from dictionary.com)

So if a girl screams and runs from a tiny little spider, then she is obviously a wimp.

And if a girl can heft haybales and pound fence posts, then she is obviously tough.

Dilemma!

Okay so some of you might have seen my post a bit ago about the pathetic-ness of some women in movies. Confession time! I'm pathetic myself. Yep. How much of a Hypocrite am I? Well:

1. As evidenced in the above statement, I am pretty scared of spiders. I yell for someone else to come kill it. If I am home alone, and the intruder happens to be in the bathroom or kitchen I do have the guts to spray some sort of cleaning chemical from across the room. Wimpy, yes?

2. Also I like to milk my injuries. Those of you who know me know this. 

3. I am a complainer.

4. I scare easily. Creepy noises in the dark, scary movies, spooky horses, semis on the freeway swaying in the wind, roller coasters that go upside down, repelling, deep water, etc. etc. etc.

5. I am a cry-baby. I get weepy eyes watching animated Disney movies.

6. I would rather play with the kids than sheet-rock a basement.

7. Etc. etc. etc.

So am I one of those wimpy, whiny Damsel in Distress types? If you judged by the above list then you would have to say yes.

But there is more to me than that:

1. I'm not buff, but I'm strong enough. Strong enough to move haybales and build fences. Strong enough to grab ALL the groceries at once so I don't have to make 2 trips. Strong enough to help haul moving boxes and dressers. Strong enough to carry 50 lbs bags of dog food up and down the stairs. Strong enough.

2. I can get dirty. I scoop poop. Dog and horse. I can trudge through the mud. It's not a big deal. I even swim in Gunnison Res sometimes. GASP! :)

3. I can make do with what I've got. I don't need fancy crap. I can sleep on the floor and drive a beater car. It's all good.

4. I can summon bravery. I can slip into a corral to halter a crazed horse. (which made Dad respect me a bit, he said he wouldn't have gone in) 

5. I can stand up for myself and others when needed.

6. I don't need a man. Do you know what I mean? There are those girls that just can't be single. They don't know what to do with themselves or even who they are. I don't need a man to make me happy, or complete. I'm strong enough to do just fine by myself.

Do you get what I'm saying? I'm no pretty pink princess. But I'm no Xena either.

Happy medium? Maybe. Some days I lean more towards the wimp side. I have 'poor me' pity parties and whine about my misfortunes. But other days I am on the tough side. No one can stop me.

It all combines to make me: the independent yet dependent Damsel in part-time distress.

Sister Margaret D. Nadauld said:

"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."    (The Joy of Womanhood, 2000 Ensign)

 Notice she doesn't say we need more women who are wimpy or spoiled. But we don't need Xena either.